Pretend We Are Lovely by Noley Reid

Author:Noley Reid
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tin House Books

16

Francie

In the mornings, Tate stays in the house, monitoring me, until the last possible moment he can make it to his classroom on time. 11:18. He keeps my car keys on his own key ring now. His pocket bulges with the extra metal. But I’ve a secret set hidden away: the beauty of the homemaker, the key box of extras for house sitters and family come to town, for emergencies. So I could leave again; I could go anywhere.

But when he isn’t watching me, the girls are on strict orders to do so as soon as they’re home. In between wardens, though, there are a few hours to myself.

I go to the kitchen now and retrieve from the fridge the lunch plate he makes for me every day. I spoon some of the yogurt out, scrape at the peanut butter on the bread. He has no idea how caloric peanut butter is. I remove three carrot sticks, and slice up the apple so that I can give half of it away without them knowing. Floey loves me now. If anything does, she’ll give me away, her nose always tucked to my side, the pup trailing fast behind.

I stand in the bathroom in front of the full-length mirror. I listen to the house: utter silence. I start. Feel my muscles coming back. Feel the space between my vertebrae extend, decompress. Three hundred jumping jacks and the tired oak floorboards count with me. I cycle through again. I watch myself. I smile.

I go back upstairs. I try to read. I try the sewing room but can’t make myself turn the doorknob.

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